1. “Well and good!”

This phase is usually used by women at the end of quarrels, when they are right and you must shut up.

2. “I’ll be right back! Five minutes!”

This phrase may be interpreted in two ways. If a woman says it before preparing to leave the house, “five minutes” are equal to half an hour. But if you are given only five minutes to watch a football match to the end before starting to “help about the house”, you may be sure that it will be five minutes exactly.

3. “Nothing happened.”

It is calm before the storm. This “nothing” is obviously means something, so be on your guard. As a rule, quarrels, which started from “nothing happened”, end with “well and good” (see item 1).

4. “Well-well, go on.”

It is a challenge, but not permission. So don’t you even think to go on!

5. Deep loud breath

This non-verbal expression is often misunderstood by men. A deep loud breath means something like this: she considers you to be a complete idiot and doesn’t understand why would she waste her time on staying here and arguing with you in vain (see item 3).

6. “Everything’s fine”

This is one of the most dangerous statements, which a man could ever hear from a woman. “Everything’s fine” means that she takes a time-out to think of the way for you to pay for your mistake.

7. “Thank you”

If a woman thanked you, don’t ask why. Just answer: “You are welcome.” Though, there is a delicate point: if you hear “thank you very much” (with a stress on the words “very much”) instead of “thank you”, you should notice delicate sarcasm sounding in her voice. In this case, don’t you even think to say “you are welcome”, or you risk hearing “never mind” (see item 8).

8. “Never mind”

It is an elegant female way of telling a man where to get off.

9. “Don’t worry, I’ll do it myself…”

Here is another threatening statement. As a rule, women use it after asking a man to do something several times (to dispose of rubbish, collect scattered socks, or nail something) and finding out that he didn’t even think of raising his butt from the armchair. So a woman says “don’t worry, I’ll do it myself” and starts doing it. This situation will eventually end with the stupid male question “what’s wrong?” and the female answer №3.